What do erotic dreams mean

What do erotic dreams mean

What do erotic dreams mean

February 7, 2022

Educational program Sex

If you dream about sex with the boss, most likely you are not attracted to his body, but to the role.
Photo by Liudmyla Semyvolos

Liudmyla Semivolos

What do erotic dreams mean

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Recent study showed that today’s girls aged 16-30 have erotic dreams three times more often than their grandmothers half a century ago and almost as often as male peers. The authors explained: women have clearly said goodbye to their former constraint, and the topic of sex has ceased to be a taboo.

According to the same source, up to 18% of dreams in both men and women are somehow connected with erotic experiences. Sex is dreamed 3-4 times more often than stories about sports or politics. But the more people experience pleasure or even orgasm in a dream, the more questions arise from “What would that mean?” to “Am I okay?”

We will answer the second one right away: erotic dreams are normal. And with the meaning of some popular stories, we will understand in more detail.

Sex with an ex-partner

You haven’t seen your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend since college. And suddenly in a dream you had crazy sex. What to do? Maybe this is a sign and it’s time to write ex-love in social networks? Take your time!

Sex Therapists assurethat such dreams are absolutely natural even for people who are happily married and have four children. It is unlikely that the old feelings are still alive (although occasionally this is true). It’s just that while we sleep, our brain is busy sorting through memories and creating sometimes unexpected associations.

It is possible that some nuances of the current relationship remind you of the past. Or you caught a glimpse of a person with vaguely familiar features that evoked nostalgia. And if sex in a dream was so-so, perhaps this indicates that your priorities have changed and you have begun to think more about your own pleasure.

Tina Tessina
Psychotherapist, author of How to Live in a Couple and Stay Free.

Erotic dreams with an ex may mean that you are trying to rethink past experiences and strive not to repeat the mistakes.

Sex with a star

Intimacy with idols is a popular erotic fantasy. But what if you dreamed of having sex with a star that you are indifferent to? Why did this person get into your subconscious and bed (albeit not in reality)?

“Celebrities in a dream often reflect a thirst for recognition of some of our merits, efforts or abilities, – thinks somnologist and author of books on the meaning of dreams Lori Levenberg. – Ask yourself: “What is the first thing that comes to mind in connection with this star?” Song? Perhaps the answer lies in its name. Movie or series? It’s possible that you identify with the character or draw a parallel between the plot and your own life.”

Levenberg cites the story of a client who had a dream about having sex with Lenny Kravitz, although she was never a fan. At the mention of the name, the first thing a woman recalled was the dystopia The Hunger Games.

It turned out that she was desperately trying to lose weight, but no one noticed her efforts and modest successes. Then the subconscious used the image that Lenny played in the picture to warn: the only way to reach the target weight is to refuse food. Fortunately, the expert managed to convince his ward: health is more expensive!

Sex with a boss or colleague

If you are not in love with the hero or heroine of an office plot, then the essence of such a dream is not sexual desires, but career ambitions. Sex with management is cry subconscious that you feel leadership qualities in yourself and are ready to make responsible decisions.

Intimacy with colleagues is harder to decipher. The already mentioned Lori Levenberg advises you to think about what three words best describe the one or the one who crept into your brain. And then figure out what you would like to “appropriate” from this set. Perhaps you secretly admire his or her determination, sense of humor, or ability to spout ideas. Use the dream as a clue to what qualities you want to develop in yourself.

Sex with someone who is taboo for you

There are two common interpretations of erotic dreams involving a forbidden fruit, such as your best friend’s wife or your sister’s husband.

The first explains this phenomenon with subconscious curiosity: what did a person close to you find in a partner? The second reminds us that taboo is always attractive. According to experts, sleep is that saving harbor where we can forget about the restrictions that we impose on ourselves from day to day. It is not surprising that the main “no” can be at the center of the plot.

In any case, if you suddenly find yourself in bed with the love of your best friend, you don’t have to torment yourself in the morning with the question: “Maybe I really want this, I’m just afraid to admit it?” Don’t make life difficult for yourself. The point, most likely, is in the experiences that are caused either by the “deceived friend” himself, or even events and situations that are not related to him.

Alexis Conason
Clinical psychologist.

Dreaming about having sex with your best friend’s partner could be about breaking your boundaries, being competitive, or feeling guilty about something else.

Sex with someone you don’t like

Yes, this happens too. After all, sexual experiences can be caused by a variety of emotions – including anger, which is a kind of passion. “Sensual sleep can…


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