Cunnilingus is undeservedly considered one of the most difficult sexual activities. Apparently, this stereotype follows from another – about the “complexity” and “mysteriousness” of the female genitalia. The advice below will refute this absurd notion.

I will add that Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring A Woman, helped me in their creation. I consider it to be one of the best sex guides out there, covering every aspect of cunnilingus and giving a ton of techniques.

But let’s finally get to the instructions.

1. Let your partner relax

Many women experience discomfort during cunnilingus. For some, it is associated with complexes about their own smell and taste, or with confidence in the “ugliness” of their genitals. Others worry that the man doesn’t like doing it. Still others do not like to be the center of attention and cannot relax. As a rule, a woman is hypercritical about her body, so your eyes, nose and mouth in her most sensitive and vulnerable area cause at least a slight resistance.

Of course, you cannot change the self-perception of a partner at once. But you can help her relax. Koerner says a lot of success will depend on your perception of oral sex.

One of the main misconceptions about cunnilingus is that it is not as pleasurable as penetrative intercourse. Fact: for a huge number of women, the exact opposite is true.

Therefore, let the girl understand that you take the process seriously, that for you this is not a prelude to the “main part” and that it really turns you on.

In a chapter called “The Cunnilingus Manifesto,” Koerner lists three things a man needs to learn in order to enjoy the process with his partner:

1. During cunnilingus, you forget about yourself: now your pleasure depends on her pleasure.
2. You take your time: she deserves all the time in the world. And you want to enjoy every moment.
3. Its smell is exciting, its taste is amazing. And both of them are part of a beautiful nature.

If you can show your partner that everything is just right for you, then you will be among the few super lovers.

2. Prepare your partner and yourself for long-term pleasure

Foreplay before cunnilingus is another way to relax and excite a girl. Plus, this is simply necessary: ​​the clitoris is too sensitive, taking it impudently is not the best solution. So spend time kissing, hugging, touching, telling your fantasies. And only when the woman is sufficiently excited, go to the genitals. But even there you should not rush: start with light movements of the tongue up and down.

Please note: even after such preparation, the partner will reach orgasm in an average of 20 minutes. So take care of your comfort.

Make sure your body is in a comfortable stretched position. Try to position your lips and tongue at a 45-degree angle instead of a 90-degree angle to make it easier. To do this, rest your gums on the partner’s body, and your head on her leg. To make this possible, her legs must be close enough to each other.

If you don’t like doing cunnilingus lying down, you can kneel by the bed. But whatever method you choose, make sure that you are comfortable and ready to perform all the actions without haste.

3. Master the basic technique of cunnilingus

Another important rule: during cunnilingus, it is better to be gentle and methodical, rather than rude and unpredictable. This means that you need to find a way that your partner likes and stick to it.

Kerner suggests the following basic technique:

1. After preparation, focus on licking the anterior commissure area (the area just above the head of the clitoris where the labia meet). From time to time caress the clitoris itself with your tongue and index finger.
2. With the growth of excitement, penetrate the vagina: first with the tongue, then with one or two fingers. But don’t back and forth. Instead, press your fingers against the front wall of your vagina where your G-spot should be, and keep stimulating your clitoris with your tongue.
3. With your free hand, caress your partner’s chest, stomach and other erogenous zones.

This method can be used as a starting point. However, do not forget that every woman has her own preferences. Some like simultaneous oral and manual stimulation, others don’t. Some reach orgasm faster when the clitoris is licked, others when they suck. Watch the girl to see what brings her more pleasure. Better yet, ask directly: she probably knows.